June 29th 3:00 AM was the last time i was touched with any needle or medication, they were simply waiting and giving my cervix time to dilate. 7:00 PM i was on the phone with Ms Eunice Garbutt, a family member when suddenly i felt this warm water flow down (My water bag broke). I was in shock that i even felt it since the lower part of my body was numb, I immediately asked for the doctors to come in and check me out. At the time i had no idea it was my water bag (first time mom) I just felt this warm water flow down and I asked them to come in, upon checking the cervix, I was up and ready to go. Doctors came in, Pediatricians, Neonatologist, Anesthesiologist.. My delivery team of doctors were gathering and CK team of doctors were arriving into the room also. 7:30 and we were up and running!
     I wont go in detail here to the pushing and all that, but I do remember saying;
"I cant breathe" and the nurse responded; "But you're talking, how can you not breathe?"
It was all a part of the scare.
20:06 and My little prince was out. They rested him for literally two seconds on my tummy area, then removed him quickly.
I was relieved that I did my part but was still lost and confused as the room was silent,
I asked "Is he okay?" No one responded.
Derick had his hands together praying and he asked "have you found his heart?"
And no response.
My mother in law, Ms Julia was tearing away "I couldn't see but I could hear the sniffles"
Ms. Esmeralda was just praying as she is a christian with strong faith.
Approximately Six minutes later we heard a "Gag".

     They intubated CK and he gaged when he came back.

     His skin color changed to purple the minute they disconnected him from the umbilical chord. He was breathing through me and when the chord was removed he was unable to breathe on his own. He did not even cry or move, I only saw a little glimpse of him from the corner of my eye to the incubator where they were performing the intubation and sedation process on him.
Six minutes of despair felt like hours, Hearing his gag relieved me that he was alive, and we were about to start a long journey but would all be worth it in the end.
They took CK out of the room and transported him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) He was in section A, where the most critical babies are kept for treatment and on machines.
A part of me was broken as I never held him, they just took him away to start his treatment, I had to be strong. This was not a usual pregnancy where babies come out crying, their mommies hold them, nurture them and embrace their little bodies, I had to remind myself that I have a special little fighter than needs mommy to stand tall and head focus.

Cecil Kobe Garbutt
June 29th 2015
20:06 (8:06 P.M)
Weight: 6 lbs 9oz
Length: 1 ft 9 inches
As you may understand I am not quiet comfortable in showing his arrival pictures as he was not breathing and has been a part of my very deep emotions. The picture above is Day 2 of life, connected to the Oscillator which was the reason for intubation, Nitric oxide, Numerous IV lines for medications, Oxygen Probe, Pressure Cuff, Heart Rate Monitor and a couple others that I am unable to remember.

     My personal healing was a bit lengthy, They took CK to the NICU for proper care and I was laying waiting for the doctors to complete their process with me and I kept thinking why are they taking so long. So I asked Derick "What are they doing to me?"
He responded "Stitching You"
I yelled; "What? and started to cry. (I could not feel a thing as I had Epidural still circulating but just the thought of stitches had my mind going crazy.)
Yes i had natural birth but he was too big to pass through and so they had to give me a little cut and ON TOP he still tore me (scary isn't it?) double the stitches.
After it was all over I could not seem to gather myself together, I was HUNGRY so I ate, and i threw it up. The nurses held be up to take me to the bathroom and I fainted.
My mother in law said the scene in the room was that i had lost too much blood. Everything was just upside down through my eyes, I could not hold my head up, my legs were not present due to epidural, my eyes rolled around uncontrollably, Ms Julia thought I wouldn't survive the after effects, it was too much for my little body. But God had other plans, I survive it all.

     My healing process was a bit lengthy since i had to travel regularly to see my little prince at the hospital and the apartment was one hour away from the Holtz Children Hospital. At the end of the day I survived the limping, the bathroom issues, the eating disorders, the early morning travelling and every other little thing that might have made my healing process lengthy was worth it. CK was and is my world and I would do it all over again if I had to especially having the most wonderful mother in law by my side, supporting and caring for my little prince, singing those "ancient" songs to him.

Day two in the life of Cecil Kobe Garbutt Coming Up!


  1. Yup stiching hurts you lucky you didnt feel anyting. But i had my bby normal n he tore me up too( stiches on both sides) n e hurt baaad.

  2. I cant imagine the pain you went through that moment you cudnt hold ur baby, things like this hurts me n make me realise the battles one face. Proud a you deyanie you are soo brave.

  3. It is really a miracle you are alive DD and you know God's plan. Everything happens for a reason. CK is in good hands now. He is a little angel watching over you. My cousin situation was worst than this from the beginning she know she was pregnant. But you know once you have faith in your prayer, fast and worship the good Lord you Miracle can happen. Keep being strong and have faith in Jesus Christ. <3


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